The Messy Bedroom

Is this constant mess indicative of bad parenting, laid back parenting, differential parenting? Will he always be this messy?
My only hope is knowing that I never had a clean room. And while I'm not a neat freak my home is usually better than his bedroom.

I don't mean to offend you...

As we drive around the lake I point out a sailboat. There's just something about a sail boat that calms me. They look so peaceful and fun.

"Look at the beautiful sailboat out there," I point out to Calvin.

"I see it, but I don't mean to make you not happy, but it's not that beautiful. It's kind of plain and boring." says Calvin.

Has my six year old already mastered the concept of "I don't mean to offend you but I completely disagree."?

He has. But he was right, I prefer the brightly colored sails too rather than the boring white sail on this particular sail boat.

I'm off the ceiling...

Yesterday, we received a post card from Calvin's new first grade teacher welcoming him to the class. That did a world of good for me and maybe even for him.

He said to me later, "My teacher looks nice."
"Yes, she does," I replied. "I heard she's going to have a baby, so I guess she's pregnant."

pause... "Why would that be important?"

"Well, because then you'll be having two teachers during the year. You'll have a sub when she's out for a few weeks with the baby."

"Oh. OK."

Calming Thoughts 1

People keep saying not to worry "Calvin" is a great child. He's very adaptable. I want to punch these people! How can they say that; no one really knows. And I'm just trying to prevent the worst case scenario... I was supposed to be sharing calming thoughts.

1. He did make kids right away at both his previous schools.
2. Adults like him (read: his teachers won't neglect him??)
3. He can self-advocate, at least some...
4. Yes it's a cattle style lunch room, but he won't have to struggle to find someone to sit and eat with and because of the quick in and out he'll have as much time as the school can allow to eat.
5. The truth is he is adaptable and rolls with everything.

Bomb Two

The one and only person that I think my son knows in the class is moving. I'm anxious enough and now he won't know a single other student!

Bomb One

I'm already over the top about the first grade transition for "Calvin." Now I find out his teacher is pregnant and will go on maternity leave in October and not return until after Christmas break... "It's only a 12 week maternity leave. Would you really want her back after only 6 weeks maternity? You know what it's like having a little one in day care after only 6 weeks." True, I know what it's like having a little one. I know the anxiety of a new born... I do not know what it's like to put the baby in day care right away and I'd really like to be vary pious about that right now. I'm a little concerned about the intellect of a teacher who gets pregnant so she's due in October and doesn't just take the year off!

I will be giving her a lovely gift or progesterone cream to help stave off the baby blues... I don't want that in my class. Please do note, that I said "my class." This isn't the first time I've called my son's class "my class." That may be one of my issues!

Two weeks to go

I posted this a.m. that I'm super nervous about My Little Man's first day of (public school) first grade. It's so huge, public school that is. My fear is based on two things... I'm so afraid he will get lost in the huge machine that is the US education system. I have taught in a public school, I know first hand how difficult it is to meet the needs of the students who struggle, who excel, who came to school having not eaten for the night or weekend, who ate sugar for breakfast, and who's parents spent an hour reading and doing math flash cards, and those who are precocious, etc. Then my second issue is that I have to give up a lot of control and trust a lot of people and systems that I have no knowledge of. He will walk down my driveway, presumably (I don't even know yet) get on the bus sit next to a bully? When he's on the play ground will some creep try to lure him away? Will he advocate for himself with his friends, classmates, teachers, other adults in a polite and respectful manner? If he needs something will he ask. Will he say, "No." if he needs to? Will he stand up for himself? Will he stand up for others? Will he eat? Will he feel overwhelmed and lost? Will he feel like he has accomplished something?

In the past first, I knew his teachers-well, very well, too well almost, but I also knew his classroom, the building, the parents of the other children. Some may call that control (I would), but I'm out of control on this one and have no clear expectations, AHHHH!

It's just school for goodness sakes, millions of children accomplish this everyday. He'll have a great year, I know he will because we talk to him. We'll help him solve the bully issue, teach him to advocate for himself more, feel proud of himself. And I am very excited that he may get to meet other children with similar interests; I know he is really longing for that. But darn it, it's scary!

Content of their Character!

My response to the two letters below... there many other great comments under Mr. Kennear's as well. First I appreciate your letter and that you're even beginning to think about these tough topics for the future. Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever worked at. I've composed many of these types of conversations in my own head over the years. Like how would I talk to my child should he/she be addicted to drugs or have an eating disorder or be gay or heaven forbid head to some career path I'm less than satisfied with for him/her, or choose to move to the opposite side of the globe from me, or not have any children... I decided long before the birth of my one and only to try very hard to not live my life through him. He's 6 now, and we have very open candid conversations about everything. When we drove by a trailer park in our town he asked me what that was; since he's not in public school yet, he didn't know. I explained the benefits of living in a trailer park (affordable, less to yard to care for, close neighbors, etc.) and the cons (closer neighbors, less yard to play in) He listens to NPR with us, so when Chick-fil-a was on the news he asked what they were talking about. We talked openly about the controversy around gay marriage. We talked about how some of the people he knew would be impacted and hurt by those comments but how people can make those comments. We talk about love and being a good person, treating others with respect and standing up for yourself. In MLK's words it's the content of their character that matters. In sum, my son is a sensitive boy who plays very well with both boys and girls. He plays house and Star Wars Legos. He chose pink mittens for three winters. He sews and sword fights. I'm hopeful I will know he's gay when he does if he is, but mostly I hope he never needs a letter like that from me because I hope through many future conversations he and his friends will know our house is a safe house. And I bet you will find the same in your raising of your children! Thanks for writing the letter, perhaps I will write one if the time comes not because he needs one but because he'll have the tangible words to hold onto. Huffington Post's Letter http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-kinnear/dear-hypothetically-gay-son_b_1757663.html?show_comment_id=176137435#comment_176137435 First Letter http://imgur.com/pCrHU How awful!

Two great thoughts. How can heat make water (sweat) and make things burn? If you have fruit flies why don't you just get a Venus Fruit Fly trap...then you could snuggle me [instead of cleaning the kitchen]. Why don't I get a Venus Fruit Fly trap??